Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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