Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
You brought string cheese to the strip club
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
