I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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