I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
