White coat. Heels.
...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Randomize
