I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Randomize