I'm jealous of your bromance
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
