sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I need to sanitize my soul.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize
