While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
