Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
