I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
