And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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