I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Randomize
