He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
