very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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