ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
