It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
