I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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