Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
