This show inspires me to have sex in space
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
