And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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