Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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