By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
