Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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