He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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