So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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