apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Randomize