Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
