At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
