the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
