Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
