we made out on top of his cat.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
