I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
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