yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Also, beer. Big fan.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
