I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
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