areolas are like halos for boobs.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
