I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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