we have officially lost it.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
