I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
