I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
only if we run a train.
done.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize