We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
