i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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