Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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