This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
