i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
