So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
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