It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
