im having a threesome with these popsicles
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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