He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
