I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
