he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
