Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
