I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
