Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
