exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
