so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
