We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Randomize
