he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I love having hate sex.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Randomize
