I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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