Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize