It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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