You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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