he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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