508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
