ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
