I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
