he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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