What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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