i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Randomize
